Order of the Mangled Mast

This award is to be given annually to the member of the Budd Inlet Star Fleet who has cratively and uniquely turned a perfectly good Star mast into recycled aluminum. This year’s recipient who, prior to the Fall Star Regatta, did in full view of the entire fleet attempt to heel his boat over by pulling on his main halyard in order to clean the bottom. In so doing he managed to bend the mast almost in half prior to an explosion of fractured aluminum and wire rigging. All present stared in stunned silence as he and crew calmly looked at the mess that was once their mast and uttered words to the effect, “I guess that wasn’t a good idea.”

Some of the bystanders having experience in the attempted cleaning method could have cried out, stop! But being good North Westerners all just stood by silently watching and doing the mental calculations of how far a Star mast could bend before it broke. We all found out that it was not much further than 90 degrees at the spreaders. I’m sure the engineers at Spartech never envisioned this loading when determining the required strength of the mast.

Let it be known that you are not alone in this; there are other honorary members of the Order that came before you that surely would have been members of the Order if it had existed, including:

Steve Worcester who still holds the record for most destroyed masts in a single day. The first his own, while attempting the same maneuver to clean the bottom. Then shortly thereafter a second on a borrowed boat, while attempting to sail under one of the fixed navigation marks during the races that evening.

Norm Smit who’s daughter upon seeing the exploits of at the Fall Regatta said, “I think the way you broke your mast was stupider than that. After all you wrapped yours around a telephone pole before you were even out of the driveway. ”

Dave Roe upon the maiden voyage of his boat this year, attempted to sail under a fixed mark with Lord Bill as crew. However, he only managed to bend it in a perfect parabola without the mast actually breaking, making him only an honorable mention to the Order.

Sherwood Smith who, if the dramatic dismasting of last weekend, with Dave Roe as crew, had occurred during the Star sailing season, would have been on the running for this prestigious award. He played bumper boats trying to tack out of Westbay in a 15-18 mph southerly. After turning the corner out of the marina had an uncontrolled gybe which turned his mast into a mangled mess of aluminum and rigging. It seems Dave Roe has been involved in a lot of mishaps in his short Star carrier.

Tucker Smyth, Lord Bill, and others have successfully destroyed masts in ways not always as creative as this year’s recipient. They should be given an honorable mention on this prestigious occasion.

Dave Elliott is the first and most deserving recipient of this prestigious award. The deed of gift requires that this award be displayed prominently with the other perpetual trophies of the South Sound Sailing Society until such time as the next member of the Order can be found where their name will be affixed upon the award and it shall be presented to them at the first appropriate South Sound Sailing Society Meeting after the last Star race of the year. Congratulations Dave on being so deserving of this award and thank you for the entertaining start to the Fall Regatta.

Norm Smit, Star 7094