T’was the day before Christmas, and all through the sound
Not a sailor was stirring, not even their hound.
The sails were all stowed in their locker with care
In hopes the Toliva winds will be fair.
Mama in her long johns and I in my shorts
We’re just kicking back after a couple of snorts.
When out on the deck there arose such a clatter
I sprang from my perch to see what was the matter.
The combing wasn’t dented from hitting my head
I moaned a few times so she knew I weren’t dead.
I finally climbed to the hatch, and opened it a way,
Stuck out my head and yelled What the hey!
The shells were scattered from bowsprit to stern
I yelled at the gulls and did a slow burn.
Why is MY boat their favorite place to bomb shells
Then they drop something that really smells.
I dropped in disgust and reclosed the hatch
Pulled the curtains and set the latch.
Went back to watch football, and opened a brew
And sent this greeting to each one of you.
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year
Terry Andersen, D’Lavicea